Somewhere on a small island in the Great Pacific Northwest….
What have I done to deserve such a fate? How have I offended thee, O mighty Odin? I have been sent on a seemingly endless tour of giant horny housewives, fawning over me and subjecting me to the most degrading acts, dragging me around their villages to show off to their friends, and taking photo after photo with something called a phone. Thank the Gods for their children, they are nice and lots of fun to play with, they seem to understand me. But, those things they call ‘pets’ are everywhere, and to be avoided at all costs. I have seen a lot of interesting places though, and am amassing quite the postcard collection. If I ever get back home, I won’t be sharing with Loki, since I’m sure this trip through purgatory is his doing. The one bright spot of this whole affair, is that everywhere I am sent, the girl child’s seem to have an endless supply of beautiful princesses, just the perfect size. The curious thing, they all share the same name… Barbie. They are quite tiring, as they all want to play with my hammer, and sometimes there are 10 to 20 of them.
I was perfectly happy with my pink-locked mistress, waiting for a call to once again save the world. One day I found myself being wrapped into a strange substance. Quite soft and smelling faintly of toluene diisocyanate. A cardboard coffin awaited next, and as she shut the lid, I detected a rivulet of tears on the cheek of my beautiful maiden. A jostling trip ensued, and you can imagine my surprise, when released from my confinement I found myself in the possession of another giant female, also quite cute. She was very excited to see me.
I found this routine was to be repeated, seemingly endlessly… even to a place called Canada.
So, here I am, once again, bubble wrapped in another cardboard coffin. This time, not so tightly bound, I am able to swing my mighty hammer and break loose. I find myself in a semicircular shaped metal building. A large door is before me. Light streams in around the opening, which appears to be hinged at the bottom. With a blow from my mighty hammer it surrenders and falls open. Beautiful sunlight bursts inside, my eyes are treated to a wondrous sight… Have I found Paradise?
To be continued…
To meet the ‘pink-locked maiden’ and see what in the hell this is all about… Debra Kristi and Thor’s World Tour
TALENT SHOW… A Drabble
“Some people will do anything for a laugh.”
” What do you mean?”
“Well, look at that old fool over there, trying a stunt like that. She’ll get hurt.’
” What do you care, you’re not her mother, don’t be so critical. You can’t save the world you know.”
“Who’s trying to save the world? I was just making an observation.”
“Well, at least she’s trying something different. I suppose you are going to trot out that old song you always sing.”
“Everyone loves my song.”
“They’re just being kind.”
“Look at her, now she’s taking out her teeth flapping her gums!”
“We’ve got to find it. It’s here somewhere.”
“It would help if you told me what we are looking for.”
“The Light of course, silly.”
“Oh, that’s at the end of the tunnel.”
Here’s a silly 33 for the 3rd definition of the noun LIGHT… for my friends at The Trifecta Writing Challenge asking for 33 to 333 words about a light.
Here’s my favorite ‘light at the end of the tunnel’…
A few months ago, a guy named Joe Owens asked me if I would like to join a group of writers in a collaborative story. He writes Joe’s Musings. I said yes. He calls the story Baker’s Dozen, since there are 12 writers… he wrote the first chapter and will finish the story with the 13th. Look for TedBook on the BD Logo, created by the ever so clever Jennifer Pendergast at Elmo Writes. You may have read my chapters in the Fiction Relay started by The Reclining Gentleman… that’s been going on for almost a year now, and lots of fun.
So now the Baker’s Dozen is up to Chapter 9… hey, that’s my turn… here you go!
This is the story of a guy named Forrest. He is caught in a series of escalating events started by a cryptic message on his computer screen and a strange medallion he has worn on his neck since youth. He has escaped death with the beautiful Angie many times since the story started. But is Angie who she seems or something else? When last we saw Forrest, he was confined to a cell and knocked unconscious…
The staccato click of high heels on tile reverberated down the hallway alerting the men sequestered in the situation room of a rogue unit of the RNC. A phalanx of men entered and took up position, followed by a svelte figure dressed in a back pencil skirt, topped with a silk camisole and trademark red blazer, sporting the familiar rhinestone American flag pin on the lapel. Piercing eyes behind the Kazuo Kawasaki eyewear locked on each man for a second.
“Have you heard from Ross yet?”
“Yes ma’am. He briefed us an hour ago.” A withering glance made the speaker wish he had lied, he quickly continued. “Ross claims they are being held in the Pelosi/Reid compound outside Las Vegas. His agent arranged to be held captive with the others to gain access. Forrest was wearing the medallion when he entered, so there’s every reason to expect recovery should be ours.”
“I would like Forrest unharmed if possible, and the girl held captive too, save her. What of Angie? Has she shown her true colors yet? Her father was none to happy.”
“She is not being held with the others, so Ross thinks Forrest must know by now. He says the conditions are pretty brutal in the cells”
Sarah smoothed her skirt and blazed a look at the group. “That’s the Dems for you! They have become emboldened during his second term. Gentlemen, there can be no failure if the GOP expects to beat Michelle in the next election. We must have the medallion. What does Ross plan to do?”
A senior aide stepped forward. “Mr. Ross has assembled a crack team of Cirque de Soleil performers from the show at the Bellagio to infiltrate the complex. A complete layout and the location of the cells, along with an escape route was furnished by Max Welton after he was expelled from the house and defected to our side. He is Tea Party all the way now and has been most helpful. Mr. Ross is awaiting the go.”
“Good. Then green light it and have my helicopter ready in five minutes.” A quick turn and the heels left the room.
A nondescript white van left the bright lights of The Strip and headed toward the Wilson Cliffs. The smell of rosin and makeup hung heavy in air. Good thing they’re small, thought Ross, otherwise I’d have to get a larger vehicle. After going over the plan and assigning roles, an excited silence fell over the group of men and women dressed in black. The threat of world domination and the resulting chaos on their homelands had made for an easy recruitment. Tranquilizer guns had been issued, and a switchblade in case the slitting of throats became necessary. Ross hoped not, as he did not want to further ramp up hostilities. The bombing by drones on Forrest’s building, and subsequent attacks had been unfortunate and showed the lengths they would go to win an election. He wished he could have stayed to free Forrest from Angie’s grasp, but after that damn fool bolted with her, he had to make other plans. Sarah had not been happy.
In Washington D.C., two powerful leaders meet in the back room of a small restaurant. One leads a majority and the other a minority. The clink of champagne glasses finishes the meeting.
“Has Renaissance been notified of the news from Nevada?”
‘Yes, I’m told she’s grateful.”
Later that evening, the captives find themselves tied to metal folding chairs against a stone wall in an open courtyard. The girl next to Forrest watched as the woman the others called Angie crushed a capsule under Forrest’s nose. Jolting awake, he was disoriented and fought his bonds. Waste of good Amyl, thought Angie, but it did the trick. “Forrest, can you hear me? I am going to say good-bye to you and your friends now.” This announcement and the men with the M-27’s seemed worrisome to them, as the guards had not been seen carrying machine guns before.
Sleep in the cells had been hard to come by, and the girl thought she was seeing things as if there were people sliding down ropes in the gloom on the other side. A sudden flash of light and a deafening roar caught everyone by surprise. There was no time to react as figures came cascading across the stones in a dizzying array of cartwheels, handsprings, and somersaults. The guards were quickly subdued, but it took 3 tranquilizer darts to put Angie down. The group was rushed to the center of the yard as lights started flooding the compound.
Then, blades of a helicopter so silent they could barely be heard, and the rush of air seemed heaven-sent to the captives. The girl crushed against Forrest asked how he had been. Looking at her he could only say…
Thanks for reading… to start at the beginning, click on the Baker’s Dozen link at the top. Would love to hear how you liked my chapter.
I just realized, I may have lost some of my ‘international’ readers. So, a glossary of sorts:
RNC… Republican National Committee ~ GOP… Grand Old Party ~ Sarah… Sarah Palin, the darling of the Tea Party (a radical conservative faction of the GOP) ~ Pelosi and Reid… the Minority Leader of the House of Representatives and the Majority Leader of the Senate… The leaders of the Democratic Party ~Renaissance… the secret service code name for Michelle Obama
¿What’s to get?
“Senõr! Gala called. Salvador is upset! He wants to know when Tarot Universal Dalí will be completed, and why you did not like the last image.”
“Tell her it will be ready for his 80th birthday as promised, and I did not get the animal, where do we use it”
“Senõr! Gala called, he said, ‘There is nothing to ‘get’ with a Dalí animal! Besides, that one is a birthday present for your granddaughter, why didn’t you ‘get’ that!'”
“Oh, tell him muchas gracias!”
“Senõr! Gala called, he said, ‘De nada’. He is thinking of using you for El Loco.”