Somewhere on a small island in the Great Pacific Northwest….

What have I done to deserve such a fate?  How have I offended thee, O mighty Odin?  I have been sent on a seemingly endless tour of giant horny housewives, fawning over me and subjecting me to the most degrading acts, dragging me around their villages to show off to their friends, and taking photo after photo with something called a phone.  Thank the Gods for their children, they are nice and lots of fun to play with, they seem to understand me.   But, those things they call ‘pets’ are everywhere, and to be avoided at all costs.  I have seen a lot of interesting places though, and am amassing quite the postcard collection.  If I ever get back home, I won’t be sharing with Loki, since I’m sure this trip through purgatory is his doing. The one bright…