THOR’S WORLD TOUR… The Arrival

thor

Somewhere on a small island in the Great Pacific Northwest….

What have I done to deserve such a fate?  How have I offended thee, O mighty Odin?  I have been sent on a seemingly endless tour of giant horny housewives, fawning over me and subjecting me to the most degrading acts, dragging me around their villages to show off to their friends, and taking photo after photo with something called a phone.  Thank the Gods for their children, they are nice and lots of fun to play with, they seem to understand me.   But, those things they call ‘pets’ are everywhere, and to be avoided at all costs.  I have seen a lot of interesting places though, and am amassing quite the postcard collection.  If I ever get back home, I won’t be sharing with Loki, since I’m sure this trip through purgatory is his doing. The one bright spot of this whole affair, is that everywhere I am sent, the girl child’s seem to have an endless supply of beautiful princesses, just the perfect size.  The curious thing, they all share the same name… Barbie.  They are quite tiring, as they all want to play with my hammer, and sometimes there are 10 to 20 of them.  

I was perfectly happy with my pink-locked mistress, waiting for a call to once again save the world.  One day I found myself being wrapped into a strange substance.  Quite soft and smelling faintly of toluene diisocyanate.  A cardboard coffin awaited next, and as she shut the lid, I detected a rivulet of tears on the cheek of my beautiful maiden.  A jostling trip ensued, and you can imagine my surprise, when released from my confinement I found myself in the possession of another giant female, also quite cute.  She was very excited to see me.  

I found this routine was to be repeated, seemingly endlessly… even to a place called Canada.

So, here I am, once again, bubble wrapped in another cardboard coffin.  This time, not so tightly bound, I am able to swing my mighty hammer and break loose.  I find myself in a semicircular  shaped metal building.  A large door is before me.  Light streams in around the opening, which appears to be hinged at the bottom.  With a blow from my mighty hammer it surrenders and falls open.  Beautiful sunlight bursts inside, my eyes are treated to a wondrous sight… Have I  found Paradise?

To be continued…

***************************************

To meet the ‘pink-locked maiden’ and see what in the hell this is all about… Debra Kristi and Thor’s World Tour

Our meeting in Hawaii with a Thor stand-in... not the one on tour...

Our meeting in Hawaii with a Thor stand-in… not the real one on tour…

33 responses

  1. Reblogged this on TedBook and commented:

    HEY… my comments were turned off before… because Thor craves attention… please leave a comment…

  2. I’m afraid Thor would not last long at my house, not even his sword would save him from Maggie’s jaws of death! 😆 Good work Ted!! (Maggie is my boxer dog)

    1. “That’s why I avoid those wretched things! If that’s Maggie’s picture, then I’ve seen that type… profuse slobberers… ugh! What sword, Betty??? I would fend off that beast with my Mighty Hammer!” Thor

      1. Oh yea, that slobbery hammer would slip right out of your hand!! 😆

        MAGGIE WINS!!

      2. “Oh please, I have it on good authority that creature is more bark than bite. Mjölnir would smite that mutt, and send her cowering behind your skirts! You I think I can handle without The Mighty Hammer.” Thor

      3. Here is what happened to Thor’s hammer!

      4. “Oh Wretched Woman… why do you vex me so? I realize the Red Wings lost the hockey playoffs, but why take it out on everyone… torment someone your own size. You are as tenacious as those malicious mutts who defiled The Mighty Hammer!” Thor

  3. […] There was mail waiting for me on my computer. Ted Strutz published his piece about Thor’s visit. I had to see it for myself. Our little plastic god has […]

    1. Gasp!!! “My Pink Haired Maiden!” Thor

      1. Hehe! If you could see me today. It’s blue!

      2. “Gasp again!” Thor

  4. Absolutely entertaining, although, Thor and Horny House wives does conjure up
    some strange thoughts

    1. “It’s exhausting, that’s for sure!” Thor

  5. Dear Thor,
    You’re exhausted because all the Barbies wanted to play with your hammer, and there were 10 or 20 of them? Ooh! (Are you sure you haven’t been channeling Cara’s blog? 😉 ) I can’t wait to see your next movie, in November. If only you were older…. *sigh!*
    Sincerely,
    Star-struck

    1. “Oh Great! I’ve heard about you romance writers… now I suppose you want to be a tour stop?” Thor

  6. So there you are, Thor. I’d wondered where you’d turn up next. I’d invite you to my house but I have no children (at home at least), no Barbie dolls and I do have a slobbering fiend named Amelia.

    1. “Keep the fiend chained up, Kassandra… you must have some of your old Barbies stored somewhere.” Thor

  7. Poor Thor. You had it pretty good at my house. Just one resident Barbie…and she came complete with the wedding dress. But commitment-phobe that you are, you ran straight into the hands of her cousins everywhere you turned. Hopefully Ted doesn’t have any of Barbie’s relatives living at his house, so you and your hammer can have a bit of a rest.

    1. “Yes, Kristy, we did have fun, Barbie was a babe, but the dress was a deal breaker. I enjoyed playing with your children… Jasper and Jack not so much! Seriously, have you really looked at their photos? Scary! Your snowy weather reminded me of Iceland. Thank you for a good time.” Thor

  8. I think Thor is ready for a break from all the girlie attention. Guy time is probably just what he needs. Thank you for hosting him. Love the intro. Can’t wait to read the follow-up.

  9. Thor, Thor, Thor…. I have it on good authority that Loki already knows all about this trip you are taking. He mentioned something about “building character”, I think…. (Silly, Loki… doesn’t he know you are already a character?;-) )

    1. “By the Gods… whose side are you on woman!” Thor

      1. Just relaying a rumor that Heimdallr passed along… Loki talks a lot after all.

  10. LOL Thor managed to avoid the two Rottweilers at my house! Here’s hoping he has found paradise, because we subjected him to the opposite: high school!

    1. “I did so enjoy my High School visit… especially meeting the female students. Please give my regards to your daughter, Jennette!” Thor

  11. […] Previously… The Arrival  (pt. 1) […]

  12. […] Previously… The Arrival  (pt. 1) […]

  13. […] Previously… The Arrival  (pt. 1) […]

  14. […] had only met in person two blogging friends, Debra Kristi who introduced me to Thor Worship, and Douglas MacIlroy who took me to the top of Mona Loa to tour the Keck Observatory. So the […]

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