Friday Fictioneers: LAST CHANCE

It is hard going, but the demolition is scheduled for tomorrow.   The brush that started at your ankles now reaches chest height; the fence is in sight.  

Past bulldozers, poised like fierce beasts to devour the hapless sanatorium, you enter and hunt for #36.  

Sadness overwhelms as you search her room for what was hidden within the wall.  After the accident, her decline had been swift.  Seventeen years since you learned the truth about Daisy,  it’s now or never.   An unseen hand guides you to a loose wallpaper patch,  glittering Art Deco reveals itself.

Her bracelets are safe once again.

************ 

 The photo for our prompt this week is courtesy of  Sarah Ann Hall.  Join the Friday Fictioneers and write a story, or read others stories here…   

 

 

 

 

24 responses

  1. Hi Ted,

    Did you mean for that question mark to be there? Good story about the nick of time.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    1. Aloha, Doug… Thank you, I don’t know where that came from. Thanks for the compliment too.

  2. Daisy? Daisy from “The Great Gatsby”???

    1. I’m wondering the same thing, especially as I know Ted just saw the movie. 🙂 What did you think of it, Ted?

      janet

      1. Okay, Janet… you caught me. I loved the movie. I think the critics who are saying Style over Substance are full of it. There is plenty of substance and the style and mood set are Fantastic! Two Big Thumbs UP!

      2. I saw the previews and it almost tired me out because it was so frenetic. But as I said elsewhere, I think that’s the way Gatsby was. I’ll see it when it comes to the $4 theater, which is where I see most movies. 🙂

        janet

    2. Yes… she was my muse. Her story after Gatsby would be interesting.

  3. This feels like a snippet to a much larger piece. I am very intrigued. More!

  4. Intriquing. Nicely done Ted.

  5. There’s a much longer, more complex story in the background, isn’t there? And here we are tightly focused on a moment of crisis – nicely done ministory.

  6. Wow, a sanatorium indeed. Cold death and tubercholosis. like lady of camelias. …

    1. Like your Lady comment…

  7. Dear Ted,
    I’m a little in the dark as far as Gatsby’s concerned. I enjoyed you story nonetheless. Tight writing.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  8. I didn’t connect Gatsby at first, but I re-read again after reading the comments and it took on something totally new. Great both ways!

  9. Good work Ted! I enjoyed this.

  10. Very interesting although frankly I didn’t have the same reaction to Gatsby. I thought it was an interesting film in its own right, but not “The Great Gatsby.” I enjoyed it, but I’m still waiting for a quieter, acting intensive approach to the book, Old Sport!

    1. Thank you for reading my story, Old Sport… I quite agree about seeing a different version of the story. I had never read TGG, but I do have a collection of his stories and plan to read it soon. Just returning from a trip today and that’s first on my list.

  11. I like that unseen hand guiding towards the loose wallpaper.

  12. I love all the mystery and the loose wallpaper! Enticing. Well done.

  13. I’m glad I read some of the comments! You’ve got to write Daisy’s Story now you’ve started Ted. I will be available for audition for the part of the ageing and mad Daisy when the movie is due to be made. No method acting required. I see the Unseen Hand is doing its literary rounds again. Meddling object. I liked your Icon photo but could not do a story from it. Well, I could have done a silly one. Ann

    1. You’ve got the part! Your comment about the ‘hand’ cracks me up…

  14. Neat tale.
    Enjoyed it, regardless of muse and background.
    It stands by itself, as these all should.

  15. This was most definitely one of my favorite stories. I want to know more. About the narrator, and Daisy.

  16. […] on Daisy’s character.  It is actually Max’s story and can be seen here… Friday Fictioneers: LAST CHANCE  It got me to thinking about what life would have been like for Daisy after the book.  The only […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: