Friday Fictioneers: HORSE SENSE

thirsty

     HORSE SENSE… a 100 word story

There had been a fire at the barn, most likely started by a idiot cigarette.  Got the animals out first, then set hither and skither to attack the blaze.   Even that old fool of a circus horse got into the act by bringing me a garden hose.  I squirted it a bit, then thought stronger measures were called for and filled buckets from the trough.  It wasn’t much, just a little scarring in one of the old unused stalls.  I’d spent time there with some of the girls.  Now that damn horse, she looks at me with one eye raised.

♞ ♞ ♞ ♞ ♞ ♞

Our photo, to wring stories out of Friday Fictioneers this week, comes from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields pal, the Aloha Man himself, Doug MacIlroy.

More stories… 

50 responses

  1. Ha wonderful story. Good that the fire was put out properly

  2. I liked the voice you wrote in – very authentic and believable. He’d better watch his back around that horse!

    1. Thank you, Erin. I had to give it a little thought, so he didn’t sound corny.

  3. Great story – maybe the horse should join the Fire Brigade!

  4. A helpful and knowing horse! Lovely story, and one that highlights the perils of smoking.

  5. Horses can be just so helpful… Nice one.

  6. Funny and now the horse has one over on him!

  7. And WHERE did you get that coffee cup?! Lol.

  8. Glad they got the fire out without much damage. Sounds as though that old horse has been keeping an eye on your narrator. I did wonder whether it was really an “idiot cigarette” or an “idiot smoking/with a cigarette.”

    Hope your weekend’s off to great start,

    janet

    1. The latter, I believe… thanks, Janet.

  9. I love the voice here – I really feel like some old farmer guys is telling the story – and I liked the character you gave mystic too. I stumbled over “a idiot” (rather than “an”) but I liked “idiot cigarette” and I decided maybe the a was also deliberate for this character.

    1. Thanks, Jennifer. Didn’t mean to make you stub your toe. When I wrote that, I thought ‘man, I’m going to hear about this ‘a’.

      1. HAHAHA! Well, never say I don’t make dreams come true!!!

  10. 😆 You got the top bit for originality. An old circus horse who is keeping and eye on you. Love it Ted.

    1. Top Bit! Thanks, Kim

  11. Crafty old horse it is. 🙂

  12. As usual, Ted, you done great! This story went well and worked SO nice.

  13. Dear Ted,
    I’m glad to know that someone’s keeping an eye on you, even if it is an old circus horse (nag nag nag). Cigarette smokers are idiots. I’d go on about my thoughts and feelings but this is about your well told story.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  14. always enjoy your take on the prompt Ted. I thought the “a idiot” was colloquial language. nice voice.

  15. Hey Ted,
    Maybe it wasn’t a cig after all, just some very hot stall action. Good story that relates perfectly to the photo. Ron

    1. Thanks, Ron, I appreciate that.

  16. A circus horse smart enough to help with a barn fire – I like it!

  17. A well told funny story 🙂

  18. hmm. the horse with one eye raised…wonder why?!? this is one smart circus horse. 😀 i enjoyed your story.

  19. haha that’s one cool horse, Ted! liked the voice you used in this story
    and really loved the tiny horses ^^ ♞ ♞ ♞ ♞ ♞ ♞

    1. Thank’s, kz. Feel free to use my horses anytime.

  20. Dear Ted,

    I’m still back there in the stall with some of the girls…or was that the hay loft? I liked the idea of an old circus horse in your story. Gave it a feel of authenticity. Circus horse have to go somewherte when the big top burns down, right? Hmmmm.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    1. Thanks, Doug. That is quite a pic, and quite a story. There were some nice stories about Mystic.

  21. I had to chuckle…the vision of that damn, old circus horse bringing the water hose to you … I believe he was well-trained. Well done.

    1. I did too. Thanks, Lora. I really liked your story… the counterpoint to Doug’s. I thought it was exceptional.

  22. a really smart horse

  23. Don’t let the horse give you a cold shower the next time you’re “heating it up” in the stalls. Good one, Ted.

  24. Cute story. Loved that last line.

  25. Good character here, quickly evoked. When can I read your novel . . .

    1. Hah, you’re the novel writer… thanks.

  26. Interested in knowing how he raised an eye…fun story.

  27. Good story my dear. It should be AN idiot cigarette, not a idiot cigarette. I’m no English major, but I think that’s correct. 🙂

    1. Keep your grammatical suggestions to yourself sweetheart. That wasn’t me speaking. 😀

      1. Hahahahaahahaha! I may not have gone to college, but I can still be a grammar Nazi. Just ask my kids. And I’m no sweetheart. I’m a big pain in the ass. 🙂

  28. Well, I guess I won’t mention any articles… 😉

    Seriously, what I loved most was:

    “It wasn’t much, just a little scarring in one of the old unused stalls. I’d spent time there with some of the girls.”

    I like the symbolism here, as I’m sure some of the people who “spent some time” in that old stall walked away with “a little scarring” from a fire that somebody thought “wasn’t much.”

    Good job.

    1. I’d like to say that was intentional, Lisa… you have added depth… of course, now I am going to say it was.

  29. Oh, the judgment of a horse, worst kind of judgment there is!

    1. Yeah, I think you are right.

  30. A horse with a secret? Oh my as if this crazy world did not offer enough to be concerned about. I thought this was a clever story Ted.

  31. Interesante relato.
    Deben prestar más atención las personas que fuman.
    Agradabla jornada.

  32. That damn circus horse is pretty smart if you ask me. 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: