Fiction Relay – Part 9

My turn for the latest installment of… The Reclining Gentleman’s Fiction RelayTo see what went on before, check out… The Fiction Relay Homepage.

Suzi stared at Sam. With his malevolent look, any hope that he was a good guy quickly flickered out.

He didn’t see the man in the Panama hat until too late. “Sam!” Hope flickered back in, but Sam was now in no shape to help her. The Hat put away his sap, and hurried over to Suzi when he heard… “Shut that bitch up!”

Waking in a fog, Suzi could not recall what had happened. Too much discomfort to be dreaming, and it wasn’t at all like the dream she had recently. This one was all wrong, as she seemed to be laying on the cold bare floor of a van, her arms behind her back. Snatches of conversation from the front… “we’ll search her for them” “maybe a map” “be careful”. As the pain in her head subsided, she remembered Sam being bashed in the head, and the guy in the hat tying her hands.  Groping her breasts. Raj smirking. The pain in her skull told her The Hat must have used the sap on her also. After a fruitless struggle with her bonds, Suzi decided to wait it out and see what would happen. ‘Damn, shouldn’t have gone back to the apartment, but I couldn’t leave the clues.’ ‘Did Raj look in the bag, does Raj have my bag… God, I hope not’. ‘Poor Melissa, what part she was playing.’ ‘And Sam, what is with this guy?’ Thoughts danced in her head, as she weighed her options.  What to do with whoever was in the front of the van.

Blood seemed to be everywhere. His blood. Sam stopped it with a blouse from the floor, and surveyed the bedroom. Blood on the bedspread, where she had been standing when he entered the room. Suzi taken, Raj and the person who cold cocked him from behind, he assumed. Not much in the way of anything in Suzi’s apartment. A few photos and books, wine bottles, it looked more like a cheap motel room. A bag of sorts peeking out from the side of the bed. Inside, an iPad and some thumb drives… those now in his pocket. His gun still there. ‘Let’s see if she still has her phone.’

In need of smokes, the van slowed and swung to a stop behind a gas station. “Check on our passenger.” Playing asleep, Suzi waited for them to open the back door. Only the Panama hat came into view. As he reached in to check her bonds, she unleashed a vicious kick up under the throat, sending him backwards to the asphalt. Springing from the van, Suzi pinned him on the chest with one foot, while shoving his head over to the side, creating a loud snap. “How did you like that trick, mother fucker!” The inert hatless form did not answer. Spinning about, expecting Raj, she found only the empty van. ‘Must be in the store.’ Suzi passed a newspaper stand, the headline…

‘RESTAURANT MASSACRE…COOK FOUND HANGING IN WALK-IN COOLER!

Her stomach sickened. She slid down the street to an alley; where she could break into a run, put some distance, find a place to work on the rope.

Activating the location indicator, Sam saw her iPhone was moving away from Courtland and Winchester streets. A Shell station was noted. Not to far, hoped Suzi was moving with it.  Racing to his car… the blue ball slowly moving along the map.

She had run for blocks. Exhausted, she crouched between two cars and tried to cut the ropes on a rusting bumper.

The Jag pulled to a stop, the passenger door opened… “Get in! Now!”

To be continued…

To see what happens to Suzi next… go visit that noted Colorado romance writer Dawn

17 responses

  1. Hi Ted,

    Always tie up their feet. That’s what i take away from this. lookin gforward to the next installment.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. This is excellent, a frantic action pace. And the questions about Sam just keep coming!

    1. Thanks, RG… glad you liked it.

  3. I love, love,love it, and you got to hang the cook. Bravo, Hawaii must be feeding your creative juices.

    Michel

    Date: Sun, 11 Nov 2012 07:32:03 +0000 To: michelann42@hotmail.com

    1. Had to happen. Glad you approved… Betty will be happy too.

  4. Nice job, Ted! I confess, I had a little trouble in the 3rd paragraph, distinguishing between the thugs’ dialogue and the thoughts in Suzy’s head. But other than that, very nice action sequence! I like that you keep the pacing up. And, as usual, I like the gritty, real style in which you write. 🙂 But, ACK! What to do NEXT…?

    1. Thanks, Dawn. I changed the punctuation for the bad guys. Is that better?

      Looking forward to your chapter… have fun!

      1. Better. Hope I can continue your level of pacing, though! 🙂

    1. Thanks, Aggie… It will get bloodier, I can assure you…

  5. Whoa! So much going on. I’m just glad Sam isn’t bad. This clipped along at a great pace. Liked all the action.

    1. Well I didn’t say he was good… Thanks CC…

  6. Wowee…..fast moving and utterly engaging!!!

    1. Ha… you are the only person I know who says ‘wowee’! Thanks for the encouragement… it’s been fun to do.

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