Friday Fictioneers… THIEVES IN THE LIGHT

They broke the window and slipped in the back door.

“Darker than a son of a bitch! Can’t see a God Damn thing.”

“Shhh… don’t talk like that in here. Take my phone.”

By the light of the silvery cell, they made their way forward.

“Kind of spooky, all these eyes watching us. They said the cross with the man was solid gold, I sure hope so.”

“Shut the fuck up, and follow me.”

Sudden bright lights through stained glass turn the apse into a kaleidoscope.

The Man on the Cross is shimmering to the sound of sirens.

**********************

Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Flash Fiction… This week’s photo prompt is by Chairwoman Rochelle-Wisoff-Fields… go to… ADDICTED TO PURPLEfor info.

To see other Fictioneers’ stories…

34 responses

  1. Ooops, so much for best laid plans. I enjoyed this.

  2. Wonder Who made the call? 🙂

  3. The dialogue gave serious life to your characters, but you know what I like most about this? (Probably not, so I’ll tell you… ;)) I like how you referred to Christ as “the Man on the Cross,” as if the thieves have absolutely NO clue who Jesus is. So often, in writing, art, culture at large, we operate under the assumption that everyone knows at least something about Jesus… and here you have these completely ignorant, uninitiated characters having this kind of weird interaction with the man on the cross… I have no idea what you were thinking or where you were going with this piece, but I like it.

  4. I like the contrast of the foul language from the thieves against the sanctuary of the church. Dialogue is one of your strong points. I also like your use of the word “apse.” I especially like images of the shimmering cross and the kaleidoscope of color from the stained glass windows. Nice job, Ted! 🙂

  5. Evidently these foul-mouthed lowlifes were too dumb to think the window or door may have a silent burglar alarm. Off to your jail cell, fools where no cell phones are allowed. Nice work, Ted !!

  6. Hi Ted,
    Don’t know what you’re drinking from that cup, but I’d like to get some of it. Don’t mess with Jesus. Have to remember that. Ron

  7. My kindle is working

    Date: Thu, 8 Nov 2012 23:28:16 +0000 To: michelann42@hotmail.com

  8. Always good to read your work Ted!!!!!!!! Such a great imagination you have! Jaime

  9. Good stuff here, enjoyed it

  10. Dear Ted,

    Bet your sweet apse….
    Good work, my friend. See you soon.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  11. Nice job Ted, I hope your enjoying yourself in hawaii, Have a nice weekend

  12. Great visuals and dialogue. However I think you might have too many “up’s” in the third to the last sentence. “By the light of the silvery cell…” priceless. Has me humming that old tune.
    I knew you’d write your way out of the corner, Ted. You didn’t disappoint.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    1. Yikes… I do. Thanks Rochelle.

      1. Taken care of… thanks for the edit and the photo prompt.

      2. Your typo Nazi at work, Ted.

  13. You’d think they’d know better! Good job.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/cold-reason/

  14. Nicely done. There is an “other worldly” feel to it though all the elements are known. I like how you leave it up to the reader to understand they are in a church.

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/11/08/flash-friday-fiction-15/

  15. Great job, Ted. I think I just heard the pipe organ mysteriously kick on . . . .

  16. I have to say I love the line by the light of the silvery cell as well.
    Nice Job!

  17. Very nice, and I agree about the silvery cell. 🙂

  18. Who is the man on the cross? Is it Christ, or someone else? Is this set in a time or place removed from Christian traditions? This element alone brings up all kinds of questions. Not even sure what genre I’m reading. This could absolutely be developed into something more.

  19. nice one. I liked it. 🙂

  20. I love it. I can picture them now trying to drag that man on the cross down the aisle and out the door. Although it would appear they will never get the chance. Bet the neighbors narcked. Them pesky buttinskies. 🙂

  21. Clever use of the photo prompt, Ted. I like the way the dialogue tells much of the story. Hawaii? Lucky you — no frost there! Enjoy, and say “hi” to Doug. 🙂

  22. Nicely done Ted. Don’t know if I’ll ever write this well. Thanks for the follow and the share. Love this story.

    1. Never sell yourself short… you are writing for yourself first… thanks for the compliment…

  23. Great suspense and tension throughout. I had to look up apse. Good word. Perfect, especially with the kaleidoscope image. Nicely done!

    1. Thank you. I started with ‘nave’ then knew ‘apse’ was where the Crucifix would be and an even more sacred spot for the thieves to be in…

  24. You just never know Who might be watching. Great job.

    1. Thanks, Shirley… maybe one of them sounded the alarm…

  25. Love it Ted…..very engaging!!

  26. Don’t mess with the guy on the cross! That is a very intriguing flash piece. ❤

  27. Reblogged this on TedBook and commented:

    I haven’t written much in TedBook lately… Lazy, Busy, Writer’s Block… take your pick.

    This story was back in 2012 to a great photo prompt by wmqcolby. While Rochelle at FridayFictioneers is taking a break to write a book, she’s rerunning some of the best prompts from the past. I always liked Thieve inthe Night.

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