Friday Fictioneers… DISPLACED

It’s been three months now. The shakes have gotten worse. Chef dropped the plate off at the counter, and plodded back to the grill. 3 a.m., liver and onions, bacon and eggs, whores and drunks. Oh well, life at the Huddle House in Chicago.

Lit a cig and stirred the hash browns around. Needed a drink.

Have to remember to put cream down on the 86 board, so they order in the morning. At least he won’t be there listening to the customers bitch if they forget. At 3 a.m they don’t care about cream.

Big slide from the Palmer House.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday Fictioneers 100Word Flash Fiction…  with the debut of new head honcho Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.  Her photo prompt gave me this story from my Chicago days.  To read her story, and find out more about the Friday Fictioneers… CLICK HERE … Why don’t you join us with one of your stories?  We would love to have you.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

 

I closed my eyes and picked out a story from the past.  Maybe appropriate for the Moonshine Crowd.  We would go to this dive diner at 3am, after a night out at the bars in Chicago years ago.

44 responses

  1. Loved the stream of consciousness voice. I also liked the way you made ‘whores and drunks’ look like part of the menu.

    1. Damn you are fast! Good job starting us off. I liked the prompt… it will be fun to see where everyone goes with this cheery scene.

  2. Ditto on whores and drunks. While I don’t typically find them appetizing, their inclusion in the list of Huddle House fare was delicious.

    1. I quite agree… thank you for your approval!

  3. Yeah, you are really, really good at setting the scene. I was there, in the dingy diner, inside the chef’s head. Excellent nugget of 100 words, Ted! 🙂

    1. A sad head I’m afraid. That is a real place… I’m glad you stopped in, Dawn.

  4. Just a small thing . . . Should “customer’s” be “customers”?

    I like the noir-ish setting you established here. It’s quite vivid.

    1. You are right, Angel, thank you. And thanks for the nice comment.

  5. Ted,
    Bukowski the cook. Loved it! Whores and drunks my kinda place. They ought to put them on the menu… Well, we have Vegas for that. Nice job.

  6. Dear Ted,

    Tom is right. You nailed it. how long did you work there?

    Aloha,

    Doug

    1. Was only a customer there. Late night, after closing the bar, where I did work, and the late night bars where my friends worked.

      Only saw the lobby of the Palmer House.

  7. Hi Ted, I liked how you got us inside his head. I had to work a bit (or perhaps it’s early) but I think I figured out he used to work at the Palmer House and perhaps got fired for drinking? Did I get that right? Hope he turns it around.
    Thanks for visiting mine too.

  8. Whores are fine depending on the person, drunks are another matter

    1. You are so right, Aggie. Never the former, but the latter a few times… at the Huddle House… have you ever been there? On Kinzie I think.

  9. nice atmosphere here Ted. I havent written this week’s yet, maybe i’ll do a little piece about a waitress’ first day. Suzi i might call her 😉

  10. Great….atmospheric….put you right there!

  11. Hi Ted,
    Wow, great story. You take us on an authentic trip into the belly of the beast. Your tale sizzles with sharp detail and regret. My favorite so far. Ron

  12. Enjoyed it, Ted. I could just see the cigarette dangling off his lower lip as he stirred the hash browns. A little ash never hurt anyone.

  13. Your protagonist with all his bitterness seems the ambitious kinds. It is highly likely of him to make it to the Palmer House one day.

    1. I’m afraid he came from the Palmer House, Parul. Thanks.

  14. At 3 a.m they don’t care about cream.

    this piece is good…the word comes alive

  15. Well, I liked it. Gave it a bit of a diary touch, sorta like someone just thinking out loud. Well done.
    Scott

  16. Had to google Palmer house, but the text grows, it says a lot in few words. Just great.

  17. I like how you included the whores and drunks at the tale end of the sentence. Very intricately woven. I also like not caring about the cream after 3 am. Very nice piece! I really got a feel for your character.

  18. You nailed it. Ahhh, the 86 board. 🙂 Feel sorry for Chef.

  19. Another unique story from the prompt. The chef’s view great work.

  20. Great behind the scenes tour of an all-night diner and the mind of the guy that works there.

  21. I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for diners at 3 a.m. (though, medically, it might be more accurately termed a ‘hard spot’) – but I guess this guy doesn’t share my romantic vision. Then again, I probably wouldn’t either, in his position. Nice!

  22. Nice one. Loved where you went with it.

  23. Plodded back to the grill. Made me feel tired. Good piece.

  24. Very atmospheric, expect to see Bogart walk in and order “some hash browns, heavy on the ash.”

    Big slide from the Palmer House for him too ….

  25. Night shift blues. You captured the mood completely. Nicely done.

  26. Man, sounds like a place I frequented years ago. The hash browns were greasy and undercooked. The eggs were runny. And the cook’s face was pimply and pock marked. Thanks for taking me back there in 100 words.

  27. This reminds me of the Market Diner on 12th Ave in Hell’s Kitchen NYC. Open 24/7. Caters to office workers during the day and Sunday am, church goers. At night? Truck, taxi drivers, celebrity limos, male and female hookers, whores, transvestites, pole dancers, etc. But the food is great.

  28. Not sure a drink would care what’s on the menu at any hour. Great job.

  29. Reminds me of the Edward Hopper painting, “Night Hawks.” Very well done.

  30. Very nice. Thanks so much for stopping by mine. This was very well do r

  31. Both my husband and I are in the hospitality business. He is an International Executive Chef ….I do not believe he had ever experience what you decribe but you wrote it so well, I can see if like a movie. Great job!!! hugs shakira

  32. This paints such a picture. I can see chef’s ash tumbling into the hash browns and thickening the onion gravy. Well done.

  33. Reblogged this on TedBook and commented:

    I got a notice that someone named caroljforrester had ‘liked’ a story called “Displaced” that I had written. Her name sounded familiar, but my story did not, so I had to go back and look. It is one I really liked, because it was about when I lived in Chicago… I should write more, I wish I had taken more photos then. I thought I would bring it back into the light of day. This was the first post for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, after she took over the helm of the Friday Fictioneers writing group. When I saw the photo I thought “What the Hell?” Then I thought deeper and the prompting process took over… funny how that happens. I hope you enjoy reading ‘Displaced’. Here is a link to Friday Fictioneers… see what they are up to now.

  34. It’s just not breakfast without the shores and drunks )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: