OFF TO BATTLE…

Thanks to RonPruitt for a great photo prompt…

Stacie watched him board the bus to a new life. And out of her’s forever… she knew she would never see him again.

When he stepped off the bus, he would be trading his cowboy hat in for a helmet. His bulk filled the door, as he handed his ticket to the driver… just the type of guy they liked to put up front.

She had a sadness deep inside, knowing he wouldn’t be coming back. Oh, he would write at first, but they would take him from her.

He stepped off the bus in Oakland… “Welcome to the Raiders!”

******

I haven’t written a story in some time for the Friday Fictioneers.  Too much work this summer and a focus on my PhotoLog got in the way.  But, this is where I first wrote a piece of fiction… thanks to Madison Woods.  I had never heard of anything like 100-Words Flash Fiction before I somehow came across Friday Fictioneers.  Wow, all the writers I’ve met because of Madison… places I’ve gone, and things I’ve seen thru their eyes.  So, I’m writing this in tribute to Madison Woods, for she is handing the FF off to a new caretaker next week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.  So goodbye Madison… this one’s for you… 100 Words, of course.

To see The Friday Fictioneers story page, and meet some of my friends… JUST CLICK HERE

p.s. here’s a link to my PhotoLog TedBook’sDailyPics

2015… Fun to see my old friends again!  Thanks for three great years, Rochelle!!!

61 responses

  1. That’s an interesting, and probably very true, take. Professional sports are definitely hard on relationships, even if the people are already married, as too many examples show.

    Just FYI…you don’t need an apostrophe in hers. Nice to meet you and welcome back. I’m fairly new, so haven’t seen you here before, I don’t think.

    1. My mug shot hasn’t been there for awhile… thanks for the edit… my greatest fear is proper punctuation… apostrophe is gone. And thanks for the words… nice to meet you.

  2. I thought he was joining the army, but alas it’s the silver & black. Well, he should have a long career as a bouncer when his football days are over.

    1. Mission accomplished… thanks Russell.

  3. A surprise at the end, even in the title hinting elsewhere. Love surprises at the end.

    1. I’m pretty sure he will be coming back.. so much fun coming back to read.. 🙂

  4. Ted – LOVED part 4! Nice telling details and a great cliffhanger that dovetails nicely with some ideas I have. Interesting 100-word story you came up with, above, too.

    1. Thanks Mouse… looking forward to seeing where you take our Suzi…

  5. Hi Ted,
    Good misdirection in your story, like a reverse in football. You had me going. In my mind, he was already in a soldier’s uniform, and then you changed it to black and silver. Well done! Ron

  6. nice twist from what I thought, like Russel, was a jaunt in the service…

  7. Wow, Ted, you reeled me in. Great twist at the end. Thanks for your support.

  8. Ted you actually made me laugh out loud. You reeled me in as well. Tricky, tricky tricky. I needed that, man. What a great take on the prompt. Of course I would have been happier if he ended up on the Jets…He’s a big boy!

    Here’s mine….http://blog.tompoet.com/?p=554

    Tom

    1. If I were in NYC… that’s where he would have gone! I used to live in Chicago and was tempted to have the Bears draft him. But I grew up a Raider’s fan.

      1. In that case I am glad he went to the Raiders.

  9. Welcome back Ted, long time no read. Great take on the prompt, even though I’m not from your part of the world I surmised who ‘the raiders’ were. Nice one.

    1. Thank you Sandra… how’s the wine and canal boats?

  10. Ok, being British I had to read the comments to understand this one, but I felt sad for them both before I even realised he was joining a football team. I’ve read lately about the damaging injuries players sustain in American Football – your comparison with frontline players and soldiers works really well.

  11. Sold us a dummy there. Very good. That guys was just crying out for his own story.

  12. Nice take on the prompt…many thanks for stopping by mine

    1. Always a stop on a Friday…

  13. Same as Sandra, I’m not familiar with US sports – but I ‘got’ it, and enjoyed it. 🙂

    1. Glad you got it, Joanna… I hadn’t thought of that aspect of a story. Thanks.

  14. If you’re talking about “Fat Bob” there (see brudberg’s post), she better not change the sheets just yet–they may send him back. Fun post, clever ending.

    1. Good one! Thanks…

      Yours was interesting… liked the actor’s perspective.

  15. ha! had me going there. had me convinced he was off to war and that she was having a premonition. well done.

    1. Thanks, Rich. A premonition of death, but really like Sustain said above… he’ll be find greener pastures in the limelight.

  16. You got the story down perfectly for this prompt. I can just see the guy in the cowboy hat playing football. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Jan. It did start with the Army and somehow changed midstream.

  17. Off to Battle the football field. Well, that’s happier than a war zone. I imagine that would be difficult on a relationship. I like how how the bus is the link from an old life to a new beginning. You captured that nicely here!

    1. A new beginning for both it would seem… thanks Amy.

  18. Oh, tricky Teddy. You got me with the surprise twist. Glad he’s off to a different, safer battlefield. NIce work.

  19. Really liked the surprise end

  20. Really liked this! The ending was a surprise, and it truly made me smile. Very well done!

  21. Dear Ted,

    This was your best story yet. Perfect layering and excellent bait and switch. Cannot say enough about this one. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Lei’s in the fridge.

    Doug

  22. I hope he is going to be a player instead of the fan with all the spikes who is always on TV. Good story, I thought we was going to war.

  23. debraaelliott1960 | Reply

    Interesting and so true somewhere out there. Thanks you for stopping by my blog. Thanks for the welcome. Maybe this FF I can answer the question as to where the bus went.

    1. I’ll look forward to that…

  24. You’re a tricky one Ted. Like so many others, you had me going. Great job! These look like so much fun, but 100 words they must be a real challenge.

    1. A different kind… but the only kind I have done, actually. You should join us next week, Debra… we could use a story with an immortal Twist. Check out the link to the Friday Fictioneers…http://www.madison-woods.com/Wordpress/101912-2/#comment-15422

      1. Last time I tried one of these I got the time table all messed up. When do they post the prompt for this coming Friday? You are in a different group that Susie, right?

      2. No, this is the same group, started by Madison Woods… here’s the link…http://www.madison-woods.com/Wordpress/101912-2/#comment-15422

        The prompt is usually posted on Wed. I haven’t looked… I will send it to you when I get it. I was on the mainland today in Bellingham.

      3. I’m looking at the prompt now. I’m thinking about it. But I believe I have an introduction to make Friday morning for another blogger as she will be posting about Thor and his visit. A lot on my plate right now. Next week calms down a little. I hope. 🙂

      4. Well… I know nothing gets in Thor’s way! Would love to see you next week.

  25. Interesting take on the prompt Ted. The burly guy had to be a biker! After reading your post I am like, “Why did I not think of that!” Good job!

    1. You are right… I didn’t think of detective or hit man, like you. I liked your story.

      1. Oh yeah, I have a thing for sinister characters. Thanks again. 🙂

  26. Oh that’s a sad one. I feel for both sides of the story!

  27. Dear Ted,

    Once again you reeled me in with the same story. As I look down the list of those who commented three years ago and feel a twinge of sadness at those who’ve gone on to other things. Of course there’s that sweet satisfaction of seeing other names who are still on the bus. Thanks for the instant replay and the support.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  28. Good to read your work again, Ted. I like how this story is a great mix of heartbreaking and hopeful (at least for him). Good twist ending.
    -David

  29. Excellent story, Ted, cool twist.

  30. When I started reading the comments, I wondered, who are all these people? Then I saw the date and realized you had re-posted. Fooled me twice in one story. 🙂 Great twist, and she’s probably right.

  31. Loved the way you brought us along, thinking one thing and then flipping it all. Good one!

  32. Welcome back, Ted, even if it’s just for a short while. The twist at the end was just right. Alicia

  33. Hah! Sports claims its newest victim, and creates yet another widow, of sorts.
    Very well-narrated, somewhat sad, story with a great last line!

  34. Trading one love for another???? I hope it works out for them both. Competing with the love of another is a no-win-situation!

  35. Ha, enjoyed reading the old comments. The Raiders have already won two games (a season’s worth for them), so he must be doing something right.

    It’s nice to see you mug again.

  36. Always nice to see you in the mix at FF Ted.

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