The prompt is REFLECTION…
looking in the pool
behind my eyes, I try to see
why for am I here?
Well, that’s my effort. I hope it’s a Haiku… not sure really. I don’t know what one is to be honest, and reading the Wiki explanation made me more confused than ever. I had heard the term and read some. I liked them, I think. I will tell you one thing… I have not thought of ‘syllables’ for 50 years. So, I am happy I tried, and will try to learn more about Haikus.
The Haiku Bomber is responsible for my sudden poetic turn… http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/the-haiku-bombers-prompt-1/
Do have a look at Quill Shiv’s challenge and maybe you will find your inner haijin.
The photo is by Michal Fanta… http://www.redbubble.com/people/michalfanta/works/3777140-water-drop-photography-water-in-time-self-reflection
I like you your haiku.
Sometimes it helps to try to write several at the same time. Choose a them you enjoy such as eating or cooking or something you enjoy watching on TV.
Or what you notice on a walk, or what you wish would happen on a walk.
Frolic and play . . .
Traditional haiku are very complicated forms of “on” syllables and will take a lot more explanation than I can fit into one comment.
Simply put, I’ve left the interpretation of haiku up to the writer as long as it at least follows 5 syllables / 7 syllables / 5 syllables form. This is a very modern form quite different from the traditional Japanese. However, it is the most popular form among amateur enthusiasts (of which I consider myself.)
Your second line is 8 syllables, but aside from that, this is a very moving haiku.
Well done!
Thank you Quill. It appears my problem is counting, not identifying syllables. I showed my ten year old granddaughter my Haiku, and I said I had thought I had 7… I asked if commas counted as a syllable… she took a look and said “no, you have 8”. I recounted… 8. I’ll try to do better next week.
You did a great job as it was! Don’t beat yourself up about it. 😀 (I count the syllables on my fingers)
Thanks for sharing this. Love the bit about “behind my eyes.”
I haven’t written a haiku in forever. I kept ticking syllables off on my fingers as I was writing mine, which can be found here: http://bit.ly/zroUv4
I think it’s lovely and speaks to so many of us, the eternal question we all eventually ask.
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