Flash Friday Fictioneers… DRIP, DROP, DRIP

Something keeps rumbling overhead.  Sounds of pushing.

I was falling.  That was the scariest part.  Of course the landing wasn’t a piece of cake… hurt like hell. Right on my back.  Oh, God it hurts my ribs to move.

How long has it been? Maybe five days now.  I can remember walking the field, then grabbing at air as I went down the pit.  So fast… like instant.  I can just see some light above, and the drip of water every once in a while has been a Godsend.  I think I’m past hungry.

There’s the rumbling again.

Darkness…

Another 100 Word Photo Prompt from Madison Woods… and here’s where to find the stories… Madison’s blog

49 responses

  1. Intriguing. Is this like a cave-in? The MC fell into a sinkhole and is now trapped in there? I’d rather like to know!

    Mine is this-a-way:

    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-death-will-be-our-saviour/

    1. I wasn’t sure what MC meant… then Doug, Janna and Diane used it. ‘Must be some writer’s thing’, I thought. My friend said it meant Main Character. Duh. But he/she is the ‘only’ character, unless you count the guy on the bulldozer. Yes, a sinkhole. Thanks, I liked your two-for-the-price-of-one stories.

  2. Oh, not good. I assume he’s been buried in a cave in?

    I can feel his fear and those awful hunger pains

  3. I love this. The first paragraph takes you right into the character’s head, and then the lonely fear takes you along. I like the line, “I think I’m past hungry” especially.

    http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneers-bats/

    1. Thanks LW… good thing there were no bats in there…

  4. Dear Ted,

    They’ve trapped him and now pushed closed the stone lid of the pit. i love this story. Tight, economical, gripping. We’re right there with your MC. broken ribs and all. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/the-endless-sea/

    1. Thanks ‘0ld Man’.

  5. i just read two straight that ended with “noooo!” hee hee.

    1. Noooooo… someone copied me!

      1. the other was posted first on madison woods’s site, but that doesn’t mean it was written first.

      2. I realize that… I was joking. But, you know what is interesting? I struggled with the ‘no’ when I wrote the story. I thought it was kind of a cheap trick. Your comment reinforced my thinking, rich… I thought about it off and on all weekend. I have removed the ‘No’… I like it better. Thanks for the input, whether intended or not (but I do think so).

  6. I can feel claustrophobia coming on – very scary. Just when you think things can’t get any worse …

    Mine’s at : http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/spellbound-friday-fictioneers-april-2012/

    1. Thanks, Sandra… well, maybe it got better.

  7. The buried alive theme scares me a great deal and you definitely fed that fear with this. Nice story.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/water-the-earth/

    1. I’m glad to hear that.

  8. So, you have created another innocent victim – given us a little respite with the dripping water, and now you are burying him alive – That’s pretty good for 100 words!
    Laura
    Mine is really here this time: http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com

    1. Thanks, Lindaura. Heading over to yours now.

  9. Intense story. It can be difficult to convey in 100 words, but I feel the confusion, desperation and fear of the MC.

  10. My, we certainly are a grim lot this week aren’t we all? Then again, many of the #FridayFictioneers often are. Nicely done.

    Here’s my tale: http://wp.me/p24aJS-3Z

    1. Hah! I just read yours!

  11. Your Main Character seems to have her hands full. I hope the rumbling overhead comes from a tractor plowing MC to safety.

    Viewing the story as metaphor for a moment in real life, you have created a word picture of how fear or despair sometimes hits but usually does not extinguish the last light.

    With the hope that your wriitng is becoming meaningful and fun . . .

    1. I had not intended ‘meaningful’, but it seems to be happening in a way, and that is nice.

  12. This speaks to me because I am petrified of this actually happening to me……..

    1. Thanks, Andra. That would be frightening.

  13. I really want to know what the rumbling was, a bulldozer filling in the hole maybe? Did he have some enemies maybe?

    Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneer-5/

    1. No enemies… just bad luck.

  14. Bummer! I hope he doesn’t have to cut off his arm to get out! Great flash Ted!

    http://susielindau.com/2012/04/20/what-the-150-word-flash-fiction/

    1. That won’t help him, Susie. Thanks.

  15. Makes me shudder. Also reminds me of those stories of giant sinkholes that randomly swallow up whole houses. Great story, though I hope it isn’t nightmare-inducing : /

    Here’s my more humorous take at: http://the-drabbler.com/splat/

    1. I guess that would be the ultimate compliment, although I’m really not that kind of writer… hanging around this group seems to bring that out. I really liked your drabble… this week, and think it was one of the cleverest.

  16. One of my worst nightmares. Falling into a sinkhole, a manhole, a drain, a septic tank hole, an old mine…or worse yet, quicksand. Yikes! We hear about these little kids falling in holes all the time. The sound of rumbling which he hears is even more frightening…unless it’s to save him and not to bury him further. Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    1. Me too… at least quicksand would be ‘quick’. No one to save him. I thought your story was very sweet… as a former jeweler, it had some meaning that others might not get.

  17. Haunting!
    Loved this line in particular – ” I think I’m past hungry.”
    Has happened to me sometimes… under very different circumstances of course!

    Parul

    http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/layla/

    1. ‘Haunting’… I like that. Thanks again for ‘Layla’, P.

  18. The rumbling makes me think someone is burying him alive on purpose…sounds like a bad outcome either way. Good story, Ted, and like some of the others have mentioned, I liked the line about being past hungry.

    1. Thanks, Madison… this week, I knew the instant I saw the photo. I don’t know why… it’s funny how that works.

  19. Oh no! he’s hurt, hungry and I’m assuming alone. Great story! I wonder how and if he makes it out alive!

  20. My dad used to tell the story of a sink-hole not far from our home. Some men cut a long pole a climbed down into the hole. They found a human skeleton, but did not know if it was the remains of a young man who went missing a couple of generations before, or a native American even earlier.

    Your story reminded me of that tale. Nice job.

    1. Thank you, Russell. That’s a great follow-up to my story.

  21. I have a fear of falling, falling in a hole would be awful! Great job.

    1. I agree… thanks for the kind words, I’m glad you liked it Jean.

  22. I wonder how long he/she can survive on that water…I know a person can survive without food for three weeks. That’s a long time to lie in anguish.

    ~Susan

    1. May have more of a problem with air soon. Thanks Susan.

  23. Ugh! That scares the crap out of me since my husband goes hiking by himself all the time. Very visual FF. :)

  24. Michael Fishman | Reply

    Just a wee bit creepy! I’m thinking this guy is food for someone/something and I’m not sure I want to find out who. A good story and thanks for making me fear my next walk in the park, Ted!

  25. Great writing. You dragged me down there with him.

  26. Straight to it…..you are right there with the “MC”……nice!! Very nice!!

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